Far and Away
by Kyoryoku Nazo
Summary: Duo is injured in battle and Heero is forced to deal with his feelings for him in the cutest of ways. (Shounen-ai!)
1. Part 1

Far and Away  
  
By: Kyoryoku Nazo  
  
Part 1  
  
  
:I'm crying again. I hate it when I cry. The look in my eyes negates the mask I must wear.   
Therfor, I hate it.:  
Heero looked away in disgust as he passed the open door to the bathroom.   
:He's gone again. Every time he leaves, this happens to me. It only gets worse.:  
He sighed with exhaustion and collapsed into a chair beside the window.   
"Perfect Solider," he scoffed. "I can't even deal with this."  
Without even realizing it, Heero looked down to see the golden crucifix in his hand. As   
usual, his hand drifted to his pocket and pulled it out as if with a mind of it's own.   
Fighting back more tears, he turned his gaze to the window, only to be met with his own   
reflection in the glass. Those eyes filled with emotion and sadness that he hated to see so   
much.   
Duo would have only told him how beautiful his eyes looked when he cried. He always had the   
right thing to say. Perhaps that was why he loved him so much.   
Choking back sobs, he let the tears run down his face, clutching the cross to his chest.   
:It's as if this is all I have left. I should have gone with him.:  
"No!" he shouted, jumping to his feet. He would not let himself be controlled by his   
emotions like this. With the perfect reflex of the perfect solider he sat down in front of   
his laptop and began typing away.  
Mission reports. Status reports. Maintenance reports.  
With surprising anger he threw the beat-up computer across the room. Swearing to himself,   
he vowed that he wouldn't hear the word 'report' again for at least another hour.  
In disgust he threw himself onto the bed that he and Duo shared, hugging the pillow of his   
koi to his body. It still carried that scent that was perfectly Duo.  
Heero sighed and eventually fell asleep to his own sobs, exhausted.  
  
"Do not think that the God of Death shall let you live!" shouted Duo with his usual   
psychotic glee. Becoming one with DeathScythe once again, the mighty gundam swung around to   
take out another group of mobile dolls.   
His face a mask of death and killing was the shell to a completly different person. Very   
few knew the real Duo Maxwell.  
Letting out another impressive battle cry, he finished his mission with only a few scratches.  
Taking his usual pose of triumph as if he had an audience, Duo tossed his braid aside with a   
cocky grin.   
:Pathetic. You even have to act when there's no one around. Who do you think you are   
anyway?:  
He quickly shook the thoughts out of his head. About to make a smart-ass remark, he realized  
that his inner voice was right.   
:Retorting to yourself, now that's a good one.:  
Shinigami sighed and headed back to the base for repairs. In mid-turn, he grasped at his   
neck, all the air in lungs escaping before he could breathe in more.  
:Where is it? WHERE IS IT?!:  
Frantically, he searched the cockpit for the golden cross, not able to find it anywhere.   
Blinded by the knot in his throat, Duo didn't see the mobile doll on his screen.   
Going so far as the leave the chair of the cockpit, he crawled on the floor, searching for   
the crucifix.  
  
Heero woke up some odd hours later, still cradeling the pillow. Laying awake for those   
first few innocent moments of consciousness, he smiled and rolled over to grasp for his   
love.  
"Duo," the words passed his lips on a whisper. Ever so slowly, the realization hit him that   
he was alone.   
And the pain returned.  
The cruciefix was still wrapped around his hand.   
:He's probably wondering where it is. It's not like him to leave it behind like that.:  
He sighed, rolling onto his back to face the ceiling.   
:I almost wish I had a mission right now. At least then I'd have something to put my mind   
to.:  
Heero jumped to his feet as he heard the door creak open, drawing his gun with clumsy hands   
and trying to hold it still despretly.  
When Quatre saw the mess before him, he couldn't help but almost cry himself.  
"It gets worse every time, doesn't it?" he asked kindly.  
"I don't know what you're talking about," replied Heero cold-heartedly, sliding the gun   
back into that little dimensional pocket in his spandex. However, nothing could hide the   
light red swell of his cheeks or studdering in his voice.  
"You don't have to hide it from me. Or any of us. It's not like we don't know."  
"Baka," muttered Heero as he sat down in his usual chair at his usual desk to type away on   
the laptop. It wasn't until he reached his hands out for the keyboard that he saw it wasn't   
there. Looking over slowly, Heero saw the computer laying upside down on the floor half way   
across the room.  
Quatre must have read him like a book. Following everything from the eye movements on the   
floor, back up to where Heero now had in face in his hands, crying out loud.  
"He'll be okay. He's always ok," the blond pilot told him assuringly.  
Under his skilled hands, Heero finally started to relax. Looking up against the wall he let   
himself smile for a moment.  
But the moment didn't last. Sure the touch on his neck was relaxing, but it wasn't the touch  
he wanted. It wasn't the familiar hands that he could recognize in a heart beat.  
:It's....not....DUO!:  
Just when Quatre thought he'd gotten his friend to calm down, Heero lept up out of the chair  
and ran out of the room.  
  
It took the third shot of a beam cannon for Duo to realize he was being fired upon. On the   
floor of the cockpit and with no restraints, the braided pilot fell hard, still trying   
despretly to search for the only remaining memory of Maxwell Church.  
:It has..to..be..here......somewhere!:  
Wufei came over the com, calling out despretly to his fellow pilot.  
"What the hell are you doing?! You're not attacking! Duo, can you hear me?!"  
By now though, Duo couldn't have responded if he wanted to. Passed out over the seat of the   
cockpit, the enemy started to catch on that DeathScythe wasn't fighting. All guns were   
targeted on him and there was nothing Duo could do.  
Sensing something horribly wrong, Wufei turned his attention to the dolls attacking Duo.  
"Help me Nataku!!" yelled the pilot, whirling around for another attack while DeathScythe   
just sort of hovered there in space, eerliy still.  
  
Hours later, Heero returned to his room. Sitting sadly on the Duo's side of the bed, he   
opened the drawer on the bedside table.   
:Duo's things.:  
A few months ago, he would have thrown it all out on the spot. The pre-Duo Heero saw no   
need for usless sentimental trash. But now...  
:I wonder what he's go in here, anyways. Not much from the looks of it.  
Candy. Candy wrapers. More candy.:  
The Japanese pilot smiled and cursed at the same time.   
:A diary? Hmm. Doesn't really seem like him to keep a diary. I've certainly never seen him   
write in it.:  
But there was something underneathe it, wedged into the cracks at the back of the drawer.   
Setting the little book back in it's place, he tugged gently at the small slip of paper,   
just to almost drop it in shock.  
:It's..a picture..of......me..:  
Indeed, Duo did seem to have a sentimental side to go along with his manically happy one.   
Although the picture itself was fairly new, it seemed aged somehow. Almost as if it had been  
damaged in some way.  
Heero didn't even see Quatre's reflection in the mirror before the blond boy was at his   
side.  
"Whenever you'd go away on a mission, he'd sit back here just like you do. Except after a   
while, he mourned with that, instead of just his own thoughts," he spoke gently, gesturing   
towards the picture. "He never let on, and he'd kill me if I knew,"  
A faint smile passed over Heero's face. But the smile turned into a look of slight confusion  
as his fingers slid over the rough surface.   
"But why-"  
He couldn't even finish before Quatre cut him off. "He cried whenever he looked at it,"  
Heero leaned back into his friend's shoulder, feeling his body relax.   
:He does care about me. He truly does. It's not just....company.:   
As the Japanese boy's fists unclenched, the cruciefix fell onto the sheets with a light   
*plink*.  
"Did he give it to you?" asked Quatre, eyeing the little gold cross with interest.  
"No...I think he forgot it. The mission was really last notice. It kind of caught both of   
us off guard."  
"Still though...I thought he never took that thing off."  
"Well," replied Heero with a slight blush, "Almost never."  
Quatre thought for a moment before the pieces came together with a sly grin. The grin only   
increased when he realized just how short notice the mission must have been to catch them   
off guard and leave Duo without his precious cross.  
Heero was returning the smile when Trowa came running down the hall, doing a quick backtrack  
after passing Heero's open door.  
"Words back from the mission," breathed Trowa heavily. He'd been running. There was worry   
in his usually stoic voice.  
Heero's hand clenched the sheets beneath him, gathering the cruciefix up once more.   
Horrible silence hung in the air before Quatre was the first to burst.  
"Well?!"  
Trowa bit his lip, "DeathScythe took heavy damage, but Duo's fine. He took some serious   
hits as well, but the doctors say he'll pull through."  
Doctors?! Pull through?!?!  
The tall pilot saw the worry in Heero's eyes and stepped into the room. "He's fine. Nothing   
major, well..." he stammered off.  
"What?!"  
"There's a bit of a problem..."  
"WHAT?!?!"  
Trowa sighed and closed his eyes, reaching for Quatre's hand for support. "You'll really   
have to come see for yourself."  
  
By the time they reached the hospital, Heero was about to explode from tension and fear.   
:He's alive. He's going to be alright. But there's a problem. WHAT IS IT?!:  
The three pilots ran down the halls of the hospital, staggering to a halt when they saw a   
door open and Wufei emerge.   
His face was white and expressionless. Slowly, he sat down in a chair outside the door.  
"It's visiting time. One of you can go in now."  
All eyes turned to Heero, who gulped, stepping foward to open the door.  
Turning the knob and pressing foward, he gritted his teeth and walked into, expecting the   
worst.  
There he was.  
Just like when he left.  
No hideous scars, missing appendges or some other terrible changes.  
He was asleep.  
:Like an angel:  
Heero smiled and walked over to the bed slowly, reaching foward and placing his hand on that  
of his koi's.  
Amethyst eyes opened to meet his. He blinked once, then twice, apparently adjusting to the   
heavy flourescent lights.  
The Japanese boy opened his mouth to speak but was beat to it by a terrified scream coming   
from Duo.  
Heero jumped back, startled. He was about to smack his tired friend, but the American shrunk  
back in fear at the sight of his raised hand.  
Not just bracing for the incoming hit, but real fear.   
Heero looked puzzled at the quivering boy before him, not sure what to make of it when a   
horrid thought crossed his mind.  
:Oh God....:  
But before he could even finish that, he was cut off again.  
"Who...who are you?"  
Any life that Duo had brought to the Perfect Solider's eyes just vanished. Only now did   
Heero notice the bandage around Duo's head, covered mostly by his wild bangs.  
Heero's legs went to water beneathe him, sinking down to his knees as the past few hours   
rushed through his mind.  
/He's fine/He'll be ok/He just needs some rest/Something's wrong/He'd always look at that   
picture of you/Something's wrong/The mission reports just arrived/It's not like we don't   
know/You can go in and see him now/Something's wrong/He'd cry when he looked at it/You'd   
better just see for yourself/You can go in and see him now/Who are you/Something's wrong/He   
mourned with this instead/Who are you/Did he give it to you/Who are you/We were caught off   
guard/Who are you/The mission report's back/Who are you/Who are you/Who are you/WHO ARE   
YOU??/  
The words turned into daggars. Every time they echoed in his mind, the pain became more and   
more unbearable.   
:This is worse than if he died. Now...I have to face him...but he doesn't know who I am...:  
/He'll be ok but....something's wrong/  
"Duo, it's me...Heero," he pleaded.  
"Who..Hee...ro? You...you were going to hit me..." replied the braided boy in a shaky voice.  
"No no no! I would never hurt you," he soothed. Moving back to his love's side. But he only  
shrunk away. "Please Duo, I love you, please."  
"You.....what?" he replied, something returned to his eyes for a brief second before   
vanishing once more, "But you're a guy!"  
Heero didn't know whether to burst into laughter or tears. The pure innocence of his voice   
and quirk of his eyebrow was enough to send the Perfect Solider rolling with laughter. And   
yet...  
:Those words...the words I feared most in the world when I first told him that I loved him.:  
Kawaii or not, they stung his soul.  
"Duo," he started to say.  
"And why do you keep calling me Duo?"  
"Because...that's..your name," answered Heero the only way he could.  
"You're scaring me," said the braided pilot with real fear in his voice. Duo reached for   
the little button to page the nurse, tapping it repeatedly.  
A tall woman walked in hastily only to see Heero with his eyes plastered to the floor. He   
looked up at her with tears running down his face.  
The nurse's shoulders fell sympathetically, reading the Japanese boy's face with ease. She   
guided him outside the room and pulled him aside to talk, away from the other worried   
looking pilots.  
By now it seemed, Quatre had been filled in and had the same look as Trowa and Wufei.  
The nurse looked Heero in the eyes whenever he'd glance up for a few seconds, only to return  
his glance to the floor.  
"It's not always permenant. Sometimes...they just need to be reminded. Is there anyone who   
was...," she blushed, "close with him?"  
Now he looked up specifically to meet her gaze, letting her piece it together for herself.   
His tear-stained face and timing told her everything she needed to know.  
"Comfort him. Even if he turns away. He struck me as a particularly strong boy, and I'm sure  
that he'll make it through this."  
Heero nodded slowly, mostly just to get her to leave.  
:It's all my fault.:  
  
One by one, each of the pilots took their turn talking to Duo. He didn't remember any of   
them. Not surprising since he didn't even seem to remember his own name. However, he did   
act kindly towards them. Quatre especially.  
Heero smiled and shook his head.  
:Quatre just has a way with people I guess.:  
Well, he almost acted kindly towards all of them. Duo still shrunk back in fear whenever   
Heero entered the room.  
It almost made the Perfect Solider break down and cry every time he was met with those   
fearful violet eyes.  
Even Quatre couldn't seem to convince the Japanese pilot that things would be okay this   
time.  
Days turned into weeks and still Duo didn't seem to be showing any signs of remembering who   
and what he was.  
Heero almost envied him really. The braided boy didn't have to fight anymore. He no longer   
remembered the pain of being forced to kill with vigor. His nightmares of Maxwell Church had  
finally left his mind. No longer did visions of his training in the underground of L2 haunt   
the darkest of his thoughts. Never again would Heero wake up to his shouts of pain and   
terror.   
But then, this meant that Heero wouldn't be waking up next to him at all. While the memories  
of the pain and hate were gone, the love was forgotten as well. No longer would there be   
any nights safe from the horrible dreams since no sleep would be had.  
A month ago, the other gundam pilots had thought that Heero was finally starting to show his  
human side again. To open up to life and accept his emotions.   
But now...  
Now all of that went back to when they all first met. The stoic eyes of the Perfect Solider.  
Despite the fact that his very soul was aching, Heero stayed strong.   
:For Duo. I must be strong for Duo.:  
He repeated that phrase to himself nearly a hundred times a day. Every time he felt like his  
mask would not hold, he thought of poor, innocent Duo, trapped within his own mind.   
Heero sighed with defeat back in the room that he and Duo used to share. Turning onto his   
side slowly, his eyes crossed over the little drawer on the table which held all of Duo's   
earthly possesions.  
With shaking hands, he opened the drawer and reached for the picture he had found and not   
touched since that fatefull night almost a month ago.  
The pilot sighed and placed it carefully back into the drawer. Just as he was about to   
withdraw with hand though, the back of his palm brushed up again a rough-edged surface.   
:Wait a sec..:  
His thoughts turned back to that night. Before Duo's words had shattered his heart. Before   
Trowa refused to tell him the problem. Before Quatre explained the picture to him.  
:It's....the diary..:  
Without a second thought, he shifted his weight and whisked the little book out of the   
drawer, stretching to turn on the bedside lamp.  
:I forgot all about this thing....:  
He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to betray his koi's trust, but eventually descided   
that he could hardly see the harm in just seeing what kind of diary it was.  
Skimming to random page, he opened the tiny book and leaned over to get better light on the   
page.  
'Sometimes it's like he loves that damn computer more than me. The least he could do is   
glance over to make sure I'm still breathing!'  
:He sure hates that thing...:  
Again he leafed back through the book.   
'I just can't take it anymore! I don't care if he rejects me, I have to know! I owe it to   
myself!'  
The way several pen dots were lightly scattered on the space, he could almost hear Duo sigh   
between statements.  
'He's leaving today. I don't know for how long, but he's been called for a mission I'm not   
part of. Every time this happens, I want to kill myself. What if he dies before I get to   
tell him I love him? What then? I'm such an idiot....I want to tell him so badly, but I   
don't want to ruin everything I've worked months to build in a moment of passion. I want to   
sing when I see him look at me, even if it is right before he's about to beat the shit out   
of me.'  
Heero set the book down quickly, shutting his eyes.  
:I miss him so much. This must be my punishment for getting too close.:  
However, when the Perfect Solider reflexes started to kick in this time, Heero Yuy shoved   
them aside.  
:Not this time Dr. J. I wouldn't be so knee-deep in shit if it wern't for you. This time,   
I'm doing things my way!:  
His mental shouts turning verbal, Heero snatched up the diary in his hand.   
"I do NOT have orders, this is NOT a mission, and I'm getting Duo back!"  
  



	2. Part 2

Far and Away  
  
By: Kyoryoku Nazo  
  
Part 2  
  
  
It was raining hard by the time Heero reached the hospital and it was just as good. With the  
water streaming down his face, it was apparent to none that the pilot was crying. Tucked  
carefully inside of his shirt, Heero cradeled Duo's diary.   
:If this doesn't work, I don't know what the hell will...:  
The bright flouresant hospital almost blinded him as Heero made his way to Duo's room,   
shielding his eyes from the contrast of the dark and stormy night. His steps were wide and  
sure, stopping perfectly and turning to face the room his lover resided in. He took a deep  
breath. Two. Three. Ten.  
:DAMMIT! This isn't getting you anywhere! Just go in!:  
With one final sigh, Heero pushed the door open and made his way inside, stopping directly  
at the side of the braided boy's bed. His fingers tightened and loosened around the diary's  
cover, waiting as patiently as possible for the young man to notice his pressence.  
Finally, after an eternity, but what could have only been about a minute, violet eyes   
opened to face Heero's pale blue, not a moment after opening his mouth to protest the   
Perfect Solider's pressence.  
"Wait," Heero's voice was pleading and brisk, not giving Duo a chance to scream like that  
fateful night nearly a month ago. "Hear me out...it's just that...I have something...and..  
if you would just....ah, hell, Duo, I went and found your diary, and I want to read you  
something."  
Duo's jaw snapped shut, a look of curiosity passing over his face. "You went through me  
stuff?" the question trailed off, as if he suddenly realized the relevence of that statement  
and how little it added up to.  
Once again, Heero didn't even give the boy a chance to speak, turning to the first page of  
the diary, clearing his throat and commencing to read the words that reflected everything  
that the American had lost on that fateful night.  
"I swore that I'd never write in this thing. It would just be giving in to what HE wants me  
to do. The Professor thinks that I'll crumble under the stress and that I should 'have   
something to relieve my burden'. For years it's collected dust in the bottom of my bags, but  
ever since two days ago, I've felt the need to tell someone this, and, well....there isn't  
anyone else to tell. It's really just another sign that I'm destined to be alone. Another  
Thing that makes me different from everyone else. After all, boys are supposed to like   
girls. And the creature with sparkling blue eyes that changed my life is certainly not a  
girl."  
At that point, Heero glanced up to see that at least he still had Duo's attention. The   
violet eyes opened and closed slowly with curiosity rather than fear. He took it as a good  
sign and continued to read. It was the next page, the next entry.  
"Somehow we wound up at the same school for this mission. Even in something trivial like  
gym class, I feel this bond with him. The way we move together on the courts; it's like we  
share the same thoughts, thinking as one," There were more dots on the page, allowing Heero  
to almost hear Duo pause as he read it. "Listen to me. Getting all poetic and deep. When   
have I ever acted like this? Towards anyone? Over anything? After all the times I've looked  
at this journel and swore at Professor G for insulting me with it's pressence, I never  
thought I'd be outright thankful for it."  
He turned the page again.   
"It's getting to the point where I can't help but trace his body with my eyes every time I  
see him." Heero blushed. "I really wish that I could just tell him and get it over with....  
but when I think about not ever being able to just talk casually with him, just because I  
descided to be stupid and act in a moment of passion..... I'd never be able to forgive   
myself."  
"I...I wrote that?" Duo asked slowly, looking at Heero with fear and confusion in his eyes,  
pleading with the stoic pilot for an answer. "I mean... Of course I don't remember it, but,  
I wrote that?"  
Heero smiled and leaned foward. "Yes, yes Duo, you wrote that. You wrote every thing in this  
diary."  
"Can I see it?" the American asked innocently, reaching his hand forward for the small book  
that Heero still had clasped firmly within his grip.  
This time it was a genuine and hearfelt felt smile that spread across Heero's face, his eyes  
softening with kindness and relief. "Of course. It's yours after all. Why don't you take a  
while and go through it. I can leave if you want your privacey."  
"Okay," Duo replied quickly, already submerged in the diary.  
Without any further suggestion, the solider made his way out of Duo's room, closing the door  
behind him and proceeding to lean back up against it and breath a sigh of relief.  
  
Even though Duo was still in the hospital, Heero slept well that night back in his room at  
Quatre's mansion. The blonde Arab was heading back towards his own quarters when he noticed  
that a light was still on in Heero's room. Half expecting Heero to be sulking in a corner   
like he usually had been lately, he was quite surprised to see the pilot actually grinning  
from ear to ear as he made his status reports.  
"Heero? Is everything alright?"  
Heero quickly fixed his expression when he noticed Quatre's pressence, setting his mouth   
into a solid line and clearing his throat. "The usual."  
"Ah," Quatre hid a grin. "I noticed you come in later than the norm. Did you go and visit  
Duo again?"  
"Hai," was the short response.  
"And how was he?" Quatre asked casually, making his way out of the room, quite satisfied   
that nothing was horribly wrong in the life of the Wing pilot.  
"Better." Quatre grinned and turned down the hall, looking back over his shoulder before  
finally retreating to the room that he and Trowa shared. Although he would never tell   
anyone, Heero was actually smiling and chuckling.  
  
The horrible explosions from his dream woke Duo with a start. He was starting to remember  
more and more. Mobile dolls. Wufei's voice over the com system. Deathscythe's cockpit. Yes,  
it was slowly coming back to him in pieces.  
:But why?:  
That was the question that was plaguing him every time he awoke from those confusing dreams.  
:Why was I hurt so bad if I'm half as good a pilot as everyone insists I am?:  
As his eyes adjusted in the dim light of his hospital room, he felt around for the blankets  
that he had thrown off in the cold sweat of his dreams - only to find the diary that Heero  
had left with him.  
:I should read more of this. I should stop running from what he tells me my past is.:  
Duo took a deep breath in and switched on the tiny light above his bed.  
  
"You have visitors, Duo," the nurse said as morning sunlight flooded the tiny hospital room.  
The American blinked his eyes open and gazed around him, taking in the sight of four smiling  
young men. Especially one that he was strangely growing more fond of, ever since that night  
two weeks ago when that one brought him a little book that changed everything.  
"You can come home now, Duo," Heero spoke softly and kindly, reaching for his former lover's  
hand to ease him out of his bed.  
"Really?" Duo studdered, sitting up straight, reaching a hand up to his head to ease a   
fading headache.  
:The dreams are becoming more clear. If only I'd been able to sleep a little longer.:  
Quatre was outright beaming, reaching for Duo's arms, leading him to the doorway. "You're  
going to love the mansion! At least, if your personality is still intact!"  
Duo grinned and mimed a punch at the gentle Arabian. Things had been so much easier since  
Heero brought him the diary. Maybe if he couldn't remember how things were between him and  
the other pilots, at least now he could see how they were SUPPOSED to be. Only one piece of  
the puzzle of his memories was missing. He could sense it. It was just so far away....  
By the time his thoughts returned to the surface, he was already being led out of the   
hospital, wearing clothes he didn't remember putting on, getting into something that he   
could only assume to be a car....  
:Fuzzy. So fuzzy.:  
"Hop in!" Quatre smiled, giving him a gentle nudge.   
Duo climbed into the car, situating himself into a seat on the far side, allowing the   
other's to have more room.  
:Quatre must be pretty rich. This is a nice car...:  
The usually quiet Trowa gave Duo a quizzical glance, "Do you remember anything about the  
Winner Mansion?" At Duo's blank stare, the green-eyed young man's face softened, leaning   
over to be heard better. "You'll see soon enough."  
  
As the limo pulled up the gates of one of Quatre's many residences, Duo's eyes widened with  
surprised, elciting a grin from the other four pilots. He had barely allowed for the   
vehicle to stop before rushing inside the house for himself, completly disregarding the   
fact that there were guard's practically everywhere.  
:And of course they're ignoring me. This is amazing!:  
Duo was running in and out of rooms with vigor, exploring the great house as if nothing else  
in his life had any importance. The grin across his face was a gentle reminded of how   
innocent he was these days - none of the pain in his past present to cause any faulter in  
his expression. And then -  
Duo came to a door with a small insciption on the side, one that recognized as his own name;  
and Heero's. Carved into the wood on the door frame and encircled by a small heart. With one  
fluid movment, he turned the doorknob and pushed it open, stepping into what only could have  
been his old room.  
:Well....it still is my room of course:  
He wasn't prepared for the hand on his shoulder, causing him to jerk around with a start.  
"It's our room," Heero's voice was soft, his hand guiding - not pushing - the American   
further into the living quarters he was slowly starting to see in his memories. They were  
extremely blury, but they were surfacing none the less.  
As oppose to the tactic he had chosen for the rest of the house, Duo simply sat on one of   
the bed's, looking around the room with curiosity. His eyes landed on the computer.  
:The computer. In the diary it says that I hated that computer. I don't hate it now. I don't  
remember hating it. Why would I hate it? It says that Heero payed more attention to it than  
to me. But he had mission reports....:  
His eyes fell on the bedside table, the drawer wide open, and a photograph hanging half way  
out.  
:It's a picture of Heero. But the paper's rough. Like it had been soaked with water and then  
left to dry. Almost like someone cried while holding it under them. I don't remember crying:  
"Quatre told me that you would look at that whenever I would go out on a mission," Heero  
said facing away from Duo, gazing out the window on the opposite side of the room. "I never  
had anything like that for when you would go out. Well, except for the last time. The last  
time before....." his voice trailed off and he turned to face the braided youth, tears   
brimming on the edge of his eyes.  
"I did have this," he fumbled around in his pocket, producing a small golden cross.  
Small golden cross....  
/Duo....Duo, never forget what we taught you here.../  
:Father Maxwell...I can hear his voice...his name...but....why...:  
But his thoughts answered that for him. Images of scorched walls, dying bodies, a priest, a  
kind priest. A kind priest who gave him a small golden cross. A cross he cherished. A cross  
he loved. Something he never took off. It reminded him of who he was. Why he had to fight.  
:I have to fight.:  
He was a good fighter. Trained by the best. The worst. Anything to get the job done. The  
job. The mission. His mission. He pilot Deathscythe. Deathscythe.   
:My Deathscythe. My Gundam.:  
The Gundams. He was a Gundam pilot. Is a Gundam pilot. Heero is a Gundam pilot. Heero. Heero  
loved him. He loved Heero. They were in love. They are still in love.  
:I'm in love. In love with Heero...:  
I would look at that picture of him whenever he would go on missions. Sometimes I would have  
to go on missions. He didn't have anything. Except.......  
Duo's eyes widened. The night. The night he was called away on a mission. He and Heero had  
been....busy. The cross. He had taken off the cross. He didn't have time to get it. But he  
hadn't remembered that when he was on the battle field.   
:I was too distracted with my own ego to think. I wasn't thinking.....I could have been   
killed. Oh gods, I might as well have been killed! What I put Heero, my Heero through! Oh  
gods, no!:  
"HEERO!" the American pilot looked up with pain and horror in his eyes, startling the   
up-until-now-quiet Japanese boy.  
Duo staggered to his feet and made his way across the room, his arms outstretched with tears  
streaming down his face.  
"Heero, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, buring his face in Heero's neck. "I never meant to be  
so cruel! I didn't know! Oh, Heero, I didn't know!"  
Quatre came running into the room, out of breath, obviously trying to have been keeping up  
with the rescently released patient.  
"Duo! Is everything okay?"  
"Quatre!" he shouted with glee, turning from his koi for a moment to fling his arms around  
the blonde's neck. "Quatre I remember! I remember everything! Trowa!" he greeted the taller  
boy who had just walked into the room, nowhere near as worked up as his lover, but the joy  
in his eyes betrayed his feelings.  
"You seem to be back to your normal self," was all he said, allowing one corner of his mouth  
to creep up in a smirk.  
"And Wufei!" Duo exclaimed, turning to face the final young man to enter the room. His face  
stilled and his grin deepened. "Wufei, I thank you. I thank you for saving my life when I  
was acting like a complete idiot out there." At the Chinese boy's quiet smile and short nod,  
he turned his attention back to Heero.  
"Duo..." Heero's eyes were wide with compassion. A quick glance up and past Duo's shoulder  
told the other pilots without words that he wanted some time alone with the American.  
In their own fashion, each of them ushered themselves out, leaving the two lovers alone in  
the room that they would now again share.  
"Heero..." he echoed in an almost too-expectant fashion, stepping foward slowly to meet him  
halfway, melting into his koibito's embrace, completely dissolving in his kiss.  
  
Moonlight shown throw the curtain-parted window of their room. After their bout of showing  
affection for each other, the lovers spent the next few hours just talking. Catching up, so  
to speak, even though they had been in contact with each other the entire time. Eventually,  
though, it was Duo to fall asleep first, his angelic features shining in the blue glow of  
night.  
Heero glanced over towards the mirror on the opposite side of the room, simply admiring the  
picture that he and his lover made together, the cross now back in it's place, around Duo's  
neck. For some unknown reason, soft tears were streaming down his face, catching the moon  
beams ever so slightly. But they were not tears of pain, angst, of any form of sorrow. No.  
These were tears of joy. Tears of relief and happiness and pure content.  
:I'm crying again. I love it when I cry. The look in my eyes tells me that I'm alive through  
the mask I must wear. Therfor, I love it.:  
  
The end.  
  
*********************************  
GUNDAM WING AND IT'S CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE CREATORS  
ALL ORIGINAL FICTION CONSIDERED PROPERTY OF KYORYOKU NAZO  
*********************************  



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